The Shit List – Week 7

Hey there! Miss me? Sorry- I’ve been re-cooperkupp-erating from watching the Rams and my quarterback stomp all over my beloved Lions. As it happens, Week 7 was our halfway through the season game! I thought I’d focus this report on more of a mid-year review. So let’s cut through the shit(talk) and get right down to it!

My Team.. On Paper

Fantasy football is tough and quite honestly most of it comes down to some strange combination of luck and chance. First of all, we fall where we fall in the draft which can change the dynamic of our team greatly. Then we roll the dice with injury. Finally, on any given Sunday we face an opponent who might be the one breakout team of the week or might just be the turd of the week. We talk a lot about this in our Coaching Perfomance and Luck ratings each week but let’s look at total points scored and total points against so far this season to see who truly has a good team and might be unlucky or has a bad team and caught some luck.

Let’s step aside from the rankings and look at who has the most points overall this season? Team Ya Hurd Me takes the cake here with a grand total of 982 points. So as we say, “on paper” so far Caitlin has the best team of the league! Coming in second with 969 point is SuperBowl SuperBears. Since Caitlin and Dan are the top two standings wise (win/loss record) this is not surprising.

Here’s where things get interesting… the third highest overall scorer so far this season is I Touchdown There with with 7 points less than Dan at 962. Standings wise, Dave has a losing record and is in 5th place. Being what could easily be one game away from second overall place score wise, this suggests that Dave has had his fair share of bad luck this season and his team is not as bad as his record or rankings suggest.

Now let’s look at lowest scorers.. with a whole 100 points less than the next lowest – our lowest overall scorer is Crazy Cat Lady (who changes names more often than I change underwear). Now, this is interesting as well because unlike Dave, Kelley has a winning record and is in fourth place standings wise but on paper has the worst team. How in the world can someone with such a score deficient be in this position?! My guess is time will catchup with both Dave and Kelley and there will soon be a role reversal here.

Easy Does It

Now let’s look at Points Against… this tells us who has had an “easy” season and who has had a hard time. Coming in first for most points against is Home Sweet Mahomes. So there ya go, Sarah. I know you’re in the process of beating Dave out for the longest losing streak with an L3 but if anything makes you feel better, you’ve literally had the hardest season of all of us. Your opponents have put up a grand total of 975 points against you.

Just two points against under Sarah is The Better Phillips with 972 points against. You know what they say.. God only gives you what you can handle… or something like that. You two women have had the hardest season of all of us but you’re handling it (not) well. Hopefully the tides turn your way and you work your way up the charts once those with an easy season start to see some strife.

The Easiest Season Award so far goes out to Team You’re Duned with a whole 200+ points less against than Sarah’s team. Lauren might think she’s doing well sitting up there with the bronze at third place (one place for every decade of your life) but we can now see clearly that its not because you have a good team.. its just that you’ve been playing in Princess Mode so far. This is likely to change come next season.

Coming in right next to Lauren with the second easiest season so far is Crazy Cat Lady. At lest this explains why her and Lauren are in 3rd and 4th place, respectively. If I didn’t mention your team.. you’re pretty average. If you still want to see where you stack up, head over to the Standings section of this page or look at the Standings in your ESPN account and you’ll see PF and PA in the chart.

Playoff Picture (is not) Perfect

This is probably the most balanced league I’ve ever been in. Perhaps its all of the tips I’ve been dropping each week in my report. Perhaps we just all suck equally. We’ll never know. What we do know is percent chance each team will make the playoffs. Despite the standings – there are three teams who have less than a coin flip chance (which is 50% if you’re dumb)of getting into the playoffs. Allow me to share:

  • Jayden RAMsey – 19%
  • Crazy Cat Lady – 24%
  • Home Sweet Mahomes – 30%

For the rest of you, your fate is in your hands. One of you, Paul, is right at 50%… don’t screw up. No room for error. Caitlin and Dan.. you could probably lose the rest of your games and still make it in. So ya know.. when your time comes to play me again.. if you forget to take out some BYE players form your starting lineup… I wouldn’t say anything.

Drop It Like He’s Hot.

You might not know this.. or perhaps you did notice but our league has what we call “Undroppables”. This is a list of the consistently highest scoring players who you cannot drop from your team. You could trade this person away but you simply cannot let them go to Free Agency. This is a security feature that helps stop prevent you from dropping such a player to either help someone else get a win or bomb your own team. Having lost a championship due to this type of collusion.. this one is close to my heart.

Anyway, there are 13 players on that list and most of you have two players on that list. Here is who DOESN’T have an all-start player on their team:

  • Mystic Mooseknuckles
  • Team You’re Duned
  • Crazy Cat Lady

So, if I just listed your team.. you have have a bunch of mediocre crap on your team. You’re lucky to get a win…

Moving Around A Lot

Some of us have to scratch, claw, and bite our way to the top. Some of us are just gifted a beautifully drafted team. Let’s take a look at the most and least amount of moves so far this season. This is usually adds/drops from Free Agency but could also be trades.. there just have been none of those so far. The top movers go to:

  • Mystic Mooseknuckles – 18
  • Crazy Cat Lady – 14
  • I Touchdown There – 10

After week two, I cut a bunch of people I thought were dead weight only for them to be a weekly high scorer for three of you. Guess that joke is on me. Those who have been given a great team and have made little to no player moves are:

  • Team Ya Hurd Me – 0
  • Jayden RAMsey – 2
  • The Better Phillips – 4

The fact that you have the highest amount of points of everyone and currently in second place with NO MOVES is pretty darn impressive, Caitlin. I don’t know how you’re handling all of the BYE weeks. You’ve obviously had no injuries. On the other hand, Jayden only has two which were done by me when he asked what “BYE” meant and look at his team. Amanda is clearly too good to make moves.. or doesn’t know how?

Wrap it up!

The next few weeks will be interesting as we currently have a four way tie in the 3-4 record between My Ball Zach Ertz, I Touchdown There, Mystic Mooseknuckles, and The Better Phillips. One or two of us will be moving up the chart and a likely a couple of us moving down the chart. We already know position 3 and 4 held by Team You’re Duned and Crazy Cat Lady are just one bad game away from falling apart. We’re now in the second half of the season where winners are made and losers get left behind come playoffs. Get get um!


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